Happy News

I was going to wait a couple more weeks to announce this, but really its a miracle I made it this far without spilling the beans to everyone! :) Its true, I'm pregnant! We are very excited, grateful, happy but also very nervous. We are trying to have faith and not fear but its very hard.

A baby that is conceived after a loss is often referred to as a "Rainbow Baby", if you really think about it the term is very fitting. A rainbow comes in the midst of a storm, in fact you can't have a rainbow without the storm. Another angel mom says it best, "Rainbow Babies" is the understanding that the beauty of a rainbow does not negate the ravages of the storm. When a rainbow appears, it doesn't mean the storm never happened or that the family is not still dealing with its aftermath. What it means is that something beautiful and full of light has appeared in the midst of the darkness and clouds. Storm clouds may still hover but the rainbow provides a counterbalance of color, energy and hope." I just want to make it clear that Alexis is and always will be our first baby and will always be a part of our family. This pregnancy and new baby will help heal our heartache but this baby will also know that he/she has a big sister and we will always talk and include Alexis in our family. I've said this many times before, but I just don't want her to be forgotten.

So, we are entering a new part of our journey. So far everything looks great and the baby is growing. We've had two doctors appointments so far and at the last one we were able to hear and see a very strong heartbeat, 160 bpm. I've been pretty sick and "bleh" but I can't complain at all, I'm so grateful for this life inside of me.

Now, a lot of me has reservations about this post in that I don't want to hurt any of my wonderful angel mommy friend's feelings. I know it was hard for me to hear about others being pregnant and so I'm so sorry if this makes anyone kind of sad, but I want you to know that its okay and that I totally understand. I truly pray that this blessing will come to each of you. And I also have friends who have a hard time conceiving and I wish with ALL MY HEART that I could give this same blessing to you. Just know that I love you all and pray for you and am here for you!