I don't know how many times I've said this in the past week and a half. It has certainly been something we never imagined we would have to go through. For those who haven't heard, I went into my normal OB appointment last Wednesday and we found out that the baby's heartbeat had stopped. So they induced me and at 6:12 a.m. on January 15th our sweet angel baby, Alexis Lynne, was stillborn due to a cord accident. We are deeply, deeply saddened but we find peace in the gospel and atonement of Jesus Christ. We know our baby is being taken very good care of and that we will see her again someday.
Despite this knowledge it has still been very hard. A parent should never have to bury their child, especially their baby. We had the funeral this past Tuesday. We had a small service at the funeral home then a graveside dedication. We miss her terribly. I actually did better when I was in the hospital or at the funeral home holding her. Now that we can't hold her anymore in this life there is a great emptiness in our lives and our hearts. We were so excited...we had almost everything ready. My greatest desire is to be a mother and though I am still a mother I don't have the chance to raise my child in this life. And though we will have other children, Alexis will always be our first and hold a special place in our lives. I want to honor her, for people to know about her, I want her to be remembered. I'm so proud of her, and even though she is not with us I am still going to brag about her. :) She is perfect, our perfect angel. There was nothing wrong with her or me...I had had an almost perfect pregnancy. It is very sad...but the knowledge of the gospel and the many prayers of those we know and don't know have given us strength and great comfort. There have been so many who have sent messages, cards, flowers and meals, who have come and visited...we thank you all! Everyone's love and support has been such a strength. We are truly so grateful. Sweet Alexis has not only touched our lives but so many others as well and I hope her story will continue to inspire others.
Everyone at the hospital was amazing! They provided so many services to help us remember our little one. They did molds of her hands and feet, gave us books and other remembrance items. Also, Julie Williams, a phenomenal photographer that works for a non-profit organization called "Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep", took beautiful, BEAUTIFUL pictures for us (thats where the ones at the top of our site came from) and an amazing video that I'm hoping to be able to post soon. How incredibly grateful we are for these memory items that so many people unselfishly gave to us! You don't even realize how important programs and organizations like these are until you need them so desperately.
We are doing okay...Zach has returned to work and school. I am still recovering and will return back to work in the middle of February. This experience has forever changed us and we will continue to change as we continue to grieve. We would appreciate everyone's continued prayers at this difficult time. Our testimonies have truly been strengthened. I feel like we are being carried by the Lord and through everyone's prayers. I am surprised at how well we are doing. It is a testimony to the power of the gospel!
I've included a slideshow of our little family and of the funeral, keep a look out for the video too, once I get the right format I will post it in the right side bar here. We love you baby Alexis!
