To be exact...at 9:30 pm its has been 28 days, 13 hours and 15 minutes since our angel Alexis was born. It seems fitting that this day would be the same as my birthday. I like being able to share something with my baby. I miss her. I can't believe its already been a month. We have been doing okay...we have our ups and downs. We are sad but I feel like Joseph Smith said it perfectly talking about mourning for the death of a child, "...we do not mourn as those without hope." We have faith and hope in the Plan of our Heavenly Father that we will see her again. And really isn't that the desire of every LDS mother?...To have her children with her forever in the Celestial Kingdom? I love this scripture: 3 John 1:4 "I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth." And my baby girl is guaranteed her spot already! What a blessing! Now we feel so much more desire and need to live in such a way that we will make it there too, with her. One of my new friends that lost her baby boy a while ago sent me something where she posed the question, "What is best for Alexis?" Instead of feeling bad for ourselves we should focus on the fact that Alexis is happy and in a pain free, worry free place. It doesn't mean we don't miss her, we do...so very much. But the Gospel and everyone's support makes it bearable.
I went to Alexis' grave today. I like to go every Thursday since she was born on a Thursday. I also wanted to decorate her grave for Valentines Day. Because the ground is frozen they can't put her headstone in yet so I wanted something there to mark where her grave is...and she needs some cuteness there! :) Here is a picture:
Thank you to everyone who has visited, called, sent flowers/cards, brought us meals and for all of your prayers! We have really felt them. Thank you again and again from the bottom of our hearts!
Since it is my birthday I figured I would post some pictures of the day's festivities! First Zach made me breakfast in bed this morning then he took me to dinner at Trio:
Then he made me this wonderful cake!
I have the best husband in the world!
5 comments:
I remember Cora's one-month. It was a very hard day for me. I am so glad that you are able to find a small amount of peace. As a bishop of mine once told me "You should be happy for her. She doesn't have to go through anything like this." Aren't the words of Joseph Smith wonderful?
And happy birthday!
I am so sorry to here of your loss. I am also a mother of a little Angle. Our baby Sharyn returned to her Heavenly father 2 months, 4 weeks, and 1 day ago. It has been one of the hardest things My family has ever gone through, but also the most spiritual one too. Our baby girl also had a cord accident at about 37 weeks along. And I know how you felt on the dreaded due date. I miss her very much and know how hard it is to not have your baby in your arms at this time.
I also am comforted by Joseph Smith words. Isn't it so wonderful to know that our baby girls have made it, and will be waiting for us to return to them again. I am so grateful for the atonement, the eternal family and the love of our Savior Jesus Christ, and our Heavenly Father. And Who better to be babysitting our baby's than Jesus, until we return. I look forward to seeing Sharyn again, and Will pray for your family, for comfort and strength through these trying times. Your little Alexis is so beautiful! You should be so proud of her!
Love, Another mother of an angel, Sheila
Amy I loved reading your thoughts. You have such a strong testimony. I have learned a lot from you through the years and you continue to amaze me. I love what you made for her grave! I bet its so nice to be able to visit often. Tell Zach I love the cake! He is so good to you. I'm glad you have him. Love you!
Love,
Makayla
Keep blogging. I read all of your posts. Know that we continue to pray for you and Zach. Hang in there!
Hi Amy,
I am so sorry about your loss too. I know it's the most painful experience a mother would go through but it's comforting to know that we will be with them again in the next life. Our separation with them is only temporary and brief in eternal perspective. Your baby angel Alexis is so beautiful. We are so blessed to be chosen as the mother of our own angel baby. I will be praying for you!
Belated happy Birthday!
love,
Daisy
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